


Song of the Sorting Hat

by threewalls



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Innuendo, Other, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-06
Updated: 2002-02-06
Packaged: 2017-10-15 18:24:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/163611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threewalls/pseuds/threewalls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If the Sorting Hat were allowed more... latitude about what he sang about the founders...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Song of the Sorting Hat

You may be surprised to see  
this hat can sing in verse.  
I knew the Founders as a man,  
my change of form, their curse.

Sweet Hufflepuff, a lusty maid,  
yet loyal through and through.  
She'd only spread her legs for those,  
who promised to be true.

Shrewd Slytherin, a friendly chap,  
if quite driven to succeed.  
He'd tie friends down and offer them  
a choice: to beg or bleed.

Fair Ravenclaw, a curious one,  
preferred her books to men.  
Many a raunchy tale she wrote  
under a nom-de-'pen'.

Bold Gryffindor, my belov'd lord,  
to him, I sang for my bread.  
At his 'request', I left his side  
to become this hat instead.

Consider these four creatures,  
seven years under one, you'll stay.  
But do not think too carefully,  
for I've the final say.

Once I would've unravelled minds,  
sorting as the Founders meant.  
But politics and rivalry  
made that inexpedient.

So, you will join your parents' house.  
If Muggle-born, don't despair,  
I'll put you where you're needed  
to make numbers square.

You may not wish me over you,  
and I do prefer older minds.  
But we must make the best of it,  
matched in tradition's binds.

**Author's Note:**

> All I can say is, this is a very old work of mine.


End file.
